A Modest Proposal for Our Time: In Defense of a Single Party System

As I read the daily hyperbolic rants and rages from my on-line friends from both the right and the left, I can only conclude that half of us are incredibly dim-witted, believe stupid things, have corrupt values, and support idiotic policies and moronic politicians who will surely lead us to collective economic and social ruin (although I’m not sure which half is the stupid half; since I don’t know, I must be part of the stupid half).  Interestingly, each side accuses the other of being divisive.  Hmmm.

I think the surest way clear of this divisiveness is to have a once-and-for-all vote, after which one party—the smart party—takes all and we move forward under a single party system.   Consider how much more efficient and effective this would be.  No more wasted time and squandered taxpayer dollars bickering, just decisive leadership and resolute implementation of a program that will put us and keep us on track as a nation.  We can finally ditch the kumbayah silliness of Stephen Covey’s ridiculous advice:  seek first to understand, then to be understood.  What a bunch of loser-oriented hooey.  Why waste time, if you know you’re right, listening to wrong-headed blather?

In fact, with a one party system, the need for endless debate will be obviated.  We can disband Congress altogether.  And, we can surely trust those in power to identify and groom their replacements, so really, no need for us to continue trying to figure out who should run things.  We can leave that to the pros.

We can also get rid of that anachronistic scrap of parchment we call “The Constitution.”  It’s hardly relevant anymore and, let’s be honest, the dolts who wrote it—the so-called “framers”—couldn’t get themselves elected to the school board in today’s world.

I’m telling you, this is the way, my friends.  No more arguing about what’s best.  No more taking into consideration everyone’s precious feelings and beliefs and values.  Gag me with a spoon.  Just let the deciders decide.  Build that pipeline.  Drill that well.  End that subsidy.  Invade that nation.  Fund that research.  Pave that road.  Change that law.  The smart people will know what to do.  Easy button!

Wasn’t it Winston Churchill who quipped: “It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.”  What a bonehead.